ALOHA!

I write to you all today from the beautiful, tropical, paradise that we are in.

WE MADE IT!!!

It is absolutely stunning here and as I type these words to you I can hear the waves crashing on shore and the view I have is ocean and palm trees for as far as I can see. We are staying at the Sands of Kahana. Perfect Location, bottom floor- corner unit. PERFECT!

It is very surreal to be here.

I have had to pinch myself more than a few times.

After the last few months of hell it seems impossible that I am sitting here right now in Maui looking out at the beach writing this to you. Maui is beautiful. Everything is very lush and green. The water is very clear for being the Pacific Ocean and already we are easing into the pace of island life.

Loggie is much better here than she was home. She still isn’t feeling perfect but she is loving the warm healing weather. She is taking it very slow and doing a lot of relaxing. Yesterday was the first day she attempted to come down to the beach, and although she didn’t last long she loved lying in the warm sand and having the sun on her face. 

She is taking the time she needs adjust and recuperate. It makes me happy to see her getting stronger each day. Right now, as I type, she is just getting ready to go for a walk to the market with Auntie Diane.

Shopping – always makes her feel better.
Jared and Reid are golfing and I am happy and content to be sitting here quietly  with my boy enjoying the beautiful surroundings.

Life- is all over the map. But today it is pretty darn good.

I have had to start the feeding tube again for Loggie since we have been here. Her appetite is still not great but the new drugs she is on seemed to have eased the headaches. Dexamethazone has proved to be the ticket to eliminating most of the other symptoms she was experiencing so I think we can safely assume there was some tumor pressure or inflammation.

There is so much I want to do with her and I’d love to get out and explore the island but I have to keep in mind that she is only 3 days post radiation.

THREE DAYS….so much can change in three days….it is amazing that we are here but she is obviously still feeling the effects of the treatment and I have to give her time.

The skin on and inside her ears is blistering and bleeding and her head is quite sore and tender to the touch, not fun trying to put a sun hat on her.

I have a tiny inclination of how she might be feeling as I got fried on my bald head and on the top of my ears yesterday. Oh Ya no hair to protect. I did wear 30 sunscreen and a hat for most of the day but the weather is very deceiving here. The trade winds are always blowing and you can’t feel the heat. It is humid and beautiful.

Reid and Diane have been the most incredible hosts so far. Diane has prepared beautiful meals and have made us feel very comfortable, welcomed and content. I am glad to be with them and on this holiday

I was so worried about coming here and that we are here, there are very few worries in our world. Cancer, although it is lurking in the background it feels inexplicably far away.

The regimen of drugs, injections and feeds doesn’t seem to be nearly stressful as they are at home. Must be the blue Hawaiian blender drinks Uncle Reid is whipping up from his book of tropical drinks.

Another thing to be grateful for, people who help you with your children and feed you booze.

Speaking of stressful, I want to share a little story about that happened on our way here. Logan started vomiting after she got her blood at the hospital on our way to the hospital. She started crying that she had pain in her stomach and didn’t feel well.

OH great. We turned around and took her back to the hospital- the verdict was constipation- so we gave her a laxative and made our way to the terminal. (We also fought about who got to sit with her on the plane)

We cleared customs with no problems or questions about our medication/needles/or liquids we had on hand. No one asked to see our letter from the hospital, and we assumed that the wheel chair and the bald kid helped with the expedited process.

I asked Jared if he thought the custom officer was confused about what one of us had cancer. Now that we are all bald maybe people think we are all sick. Jared laughed. “Honey, if anything we look like skin heads, if it wasn’t for the lime green color of Logan skin and the feeding tube, we probably would have been strip searched.”

Stupid me. I looked around- people were staring.

Just as we lined up to board to the plane a man walked up to me. We made awkward eye contact. “How do I know you” I asked

“Dr. Prevost” he replied, “Pediatric oncologist” He seemed surprised I forgot who he was.

“I have treated your daughter Logan a few times”

“Oh GOD YES!!!” I replied feeling like a total asshole and likely the worst mother on the planet. I was surprised he recognized me with my new look- although I guess he’s used to bald.

“I do remember you now” I said, “but I don’t see you often at the clinic anymore”

He explained that he had moved to the Surrey pediatric oncology clinic and only worked at Children’s when necessary.

He asked how Logan was. I explained her situation and told him she just finished radiation days before.

“Where are you headed?” he probed.

I shared with him the details of the Maui trip and conflict whether to be taking this trip with Logan’s uncertain condition. I told him about the lack of medical coverage and Logan’s latest treatments, test results and symptoms.

He smiled. “Don’t worry one bit, I am on your flight to Maui” 

He gave his address and phone number and told me if we needed anything to call him. He could be at our condo in less than 30 minutes. He is also gave us the details of his return flight. We fly home together.

Apparently there is only 8 pediatric doctors on the island and he knows them all. He assured us that he would be able to get us help if we need and despite lack of medical insurance, we’d be stable enough to make it home.

NOW IF THAT IS NOT THE BIGGEST FRICKIN’ SIGN EVER THAT WE WE WERE MEANT TO TAKE THIS TRIP…I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS!!!!

We arrived safely, the flight was comfortable and Logan slept the whole way. We dropped our bags, looked at the clock on the wall, and the time said 11:11.

It is going to be a great trip.