Dec 10, 2015

Getting the meds ready for our trip

Holy shitballs! On the road in Cambodia

First drink in Cambodia. Lemon grass mojito and Tiger beer (considered the best beer although we preferred Angkor)

Traveling Southeast Asia has always been a dream of mine. It has been on my bucket list since the year I met Jared. In 2000 his best friends had recently returned from a year of travel and shared with us the many stories they had about Cambodia and Thailand. Both Jared and I made a mental note that one day, when the chance came we too would travel SE Asia. At the time Logan was 3 and we were poorer than most Cambodians so we knew it would be a while before our chance came, but we also knew it would.

Our chance to finally visit these kingdoms have finally arrived, however, it hasn’t been an easy getting here. Having a child with a brain tumor means a lot of preparation to take a month long trip to a third world countries. It was important to Jared and I and to Logan’s oncologist that she was stable with no medication changes or tests for at least six months before we came.
We knew that just getting here was going to be tough enough on Logan, but what was most important to us was that she was feeling well enough to enjoy the trip. Our plan was to see as much as possible, which would mean moving around a lot and carrying all our stuff in  backpacks. No easy feat for Logan.

We also know the risks associated with her disease and we know that any thing can happen at any moment, so we desperately hoped that if she was stable for long enough she would finally qualify for travel insurance on this trip.

Obviously, we have done a lot of traveling and we have never had health insurance for Logan but this time felt different. We were going  very far from home (20 plus hours) and my google searches showed that Cambodian hospitals looked similar to Cambodian prisons both of which we hoped to avoid.

But as the story always goes in the cancer world, nothing went as planned.

About 4 weeks before we were set to leave on this big adventure Logan started getting headaches. Then dizzy spells, and a shaky hand. She started slurring her words and had a far away look in eyes.
We were terrified and our anxiety about the trip was building but we didn’t want to bring any attention to her symptoms. Even Jared and I hardly breathed a word  to each other about what we were seeing with Logan and when we did, we had every excuse, except the obvious one.

“Maybe it is just that she is over tired. She did just start college. Maybe her schedule is too much.”
“Maybe we are just being hypersensitive.”
“Maybe this will pass.”

But every day she seemed to get a little bit worse, and then she took a fall.
Not a regular fall. She had been having one of her ‘episodes’ and was disorientated and off balance so she fell face first into the concrete curb and suddenly she couldn’t hear out of her left ear.
SHIT.
We had to tell someone. We had to call the hospital and see what they thought.
An EEG was booked just to make sure that she wasn’t having new seizures, (apparently she is not) we had blood work, just in case, and a meeting with our oncologist. It was decided that one of Logan’s medications should be increased- because after all she still does have a brain tumor and a whole lot of problems because of it. Maybe the dose of medication she was on, she had simply outgrown.

AND SHIT
just like that NO travel insurance.

So, We had a decision to make- To Cambodia or To not Cambodia?
We had only a few days to decide. Our oncologist assured us Logan’s neurological exam looked stable from our last visit so she didn’t think the tumor was growing, but if anything did happened she had confidence in the medical system in Singapore.

SHIT- Singapore is not in the budget but thanks for the suggestion Juliette

So, we left the hospital and did what any rational oncology family would do.

We packed our bags.

The flight was never ending. We flew via Bejing and arrived almost 20 hours and 2 days after we departed- so weird.

We arrived here tired, worried and still a bit uncertain about our decision to do this trip.
When they advised us that our adjoining rooms were not available and Logan and her friend would be down the hall from us the same word came to mind.
SHIT
But today as I type from my small garden patio with margarita in hand, my worry seems very far away (20 hours to exact). She is still having a few headaches and dizzy spells but the increase in medication has helped, and if we have to up it again we will.  All in all she is doing well, she rallied thought the long travel day and is loving Cambodia as much as the rest of us.

Today, we took a 4 hour tuk tuk ride today to a village built on stilts along the Tonle Sap lake (blog to follow). To see the impossible circumstances these poor people live every day and I am reminded how lucky we are. Having a child with brain cancer is not lucky by any means, but we do live in a country where she receives care and  treatment for her disease. We do have medication in hand, and we do have the means to take these vacations. We are beyond lucky.
Looking around this country is not hard to see that if Logan was born here, she would have never survived.

I am beyond humbled by the beauty of the people I have met so far. They literally have nothing, (by our standards) yet they seem to have so much more than we do at the same time.
Almost every single person I have encountered has been happy. The children all smile and wave at us and the adults nod with simple manners and kindness. If you give anything to a local, tip or gift, they always put their hands together, bow their heads and not only thank you but wish you good luck.
I guess this is what acceptance looks like.
Cambodia is a bit like Mexico, but so not like Mexico at the same time. Less pushy sales people. Less aggression, the people seem much more respectful and things are much cheaper than Mexico.

Having said that, I am pretty sure I have been scammed a couple times already, but with only 2 dollars on the line, I could care less.

Actually, I could care less about anything right now. Which is exactly why coming to Cambodia was the perfect choice.

Cambodia, so far, has given me perspective that it could be a lot worse than traveling in this beautiful country with a bag full of meds and a kid who is having dizzy spells.

It could always be worse. We know that, we live the ‘what if’  every single day. We think about how our lives would be everyday if we had lost Logan, and so, that is the reason we do travel. Because we were given a second chance.

Sometimes we wonder if we are living on borrowed time- which is kind of funny because we all are,  but we don’t want to waste it away worrying about if the cancer grows again. We want to seize these stolen moments and ‘Take it all in Russ’.

Pub street here come.