I saw a T shirt in the lobby of our hotel when we finally arrived in Bali. 

It read 

When I hear someone sigh ‘Life is hard’ I am always tempted to ask ‘Compared to what?’ 

I started to cry. 

After nearly 60 hours with no sleep, emotion hit me about as hard as the massive earthquake we just survived. 

6 earthquakes

2 evacuations

130 aftershocks

Endless hours with no power and only uncertainty. 

Seeing the faces of people who had just lost everything, their homes, their communities, their friends.

Watching as our hotel crumbled and glass shattered around us.

Buildings shattered, lives destroyed. 

Thinking of the clean up.

I could suddenly hear the sirens clear as day.  One direction filled with hope, supplies, helpers and possibility and the other a more solemn sound of loss, desperation, and need. It was the sound of those injured, fearful or the bodies of those making their way away from the devastation. 

The endless trucks of the heroes and first responders. 

People screaming and panicking. 

No power.

Only darkness as the ground below us continued to shake.

 I calmed the kids and held them tight but wondered how I could soothe them when I was shaking myself. 

“It is going to be OK, we are safe and we are together.” I looked to see Jared bandaging up a bleeding woman before he bolted back into our building (the worst hit) to grab Logan’s medication. 

I cried as I watched him hop over the broken structures and enter the villa. I had no choice but to let him go back in. Without medication, I knew this tragedy was going to get a lot worse for us. Logan couldn’t go the night without her meds. She also wasn’t going to be able to make it very long without fluids or feeds through her NG tube. 

“Please God, don’t let another quake hit.” I silently said as I watched him come out of the building and cross the elevated bridge from our room. 

Just then, the first aftershock struck. 

6.4 in magnitude, almost as strong as the first quake.

We were gathered by the front highway. There were about 50 of us. Frantic, panicked and in complete shock, we huddled together as though we were family. When the next big aftershock hit some people began to scramble. A few jumped into cars, others on scooters- Destination unknown, but anywhere out of immediate danger. 

Suddenly, my phone beeped.

I looked down. 

Tsunami warning. 

Most had left their phones in the room and hotel staff were running around unable to notify us just yet.

I gasped for air as I screamed.

“TSUNAMI WARNING!!!!” 

I could hear my voice shaking. I tried to read the details in the warnings and google the latest information. I tried to respond to the messages coming through my phone but my hands were shaking. 

I ran over to Jared and collapsed in his arms. 

“Oh, Jay what are we going to do?” 

My thoughts drifted to the disaster of 2004. The quake had hit off Indonesia and the Tsunami killed over 225,000 people. I remember the day clearly. It was Boxing Day and my brother’s girlfriend had family in Sri Lanka. I remember watching the news and crying, thinking about how awful it must have been to be stranded.

Now it was us. 

I looked at the hillside behind us, it was thick with jungle and straight up. Just as I pondered whether Logan would be able to scale the mountain Jared returned with some information. He had calculated the projected size of the waves, found the owner and knew how many feet we were above ground and how far away we were from the beach. He suggested we all move closer to the road and calmed the group. 

“We should be fine.” He assured us with such level-headed logic.

As we sat in the dark that night huddled on the ground with complete strangers, we heard the first sirens squeal past us and we all knew how bad it was about to get. 

The earth continued to shake beneath us and with each aftershock we all jumped and panicked. They wouldn’t stop. One hour after the big quake we had already felt 20, then 30, 40 and by mid morning we had felt more than 100. 

We spent most of the night outside with complete strangers but in the early hours of morning as staff found us a safe place to rest, we all knew each other’s names, where we had come from, and who we had left behind. We exchanged room numbers and without saying any words, we all knew, we were not alone. This newly formed crew could very well be the one we spent our final moments with, we were in this together.

We had no choice but look out for each other. 

We had become an earthquake family. ❤️

As dawn broke and Jared and I sat outside of the room watching the kids sleep, I couldn’t help but cry some more. The trembling continued and I could see Jay anxiously watching the ocean. As the sirens continued to wail, our neighbour Faye came to sit on our steps with her emergency bag.  

“I can’t sleep.” 

We looked at each other but said nothing. We just took a deep breathe and tried to process what was happening. 

A few minutes later we noticed a new shift of hotel staff arrive. 

“What the hell?” I said to Jared.“How can these people be arriving to work?” 

He went to speak with them. We learned many of them had slept on the road because they had lost their homes.

As our waitress shared her story of survival and told us stories of the devastation in her village she also shared why she came to work that morning. Her words pierced my heart and I couldn’t contain myself. 

“We just need to be positive and believe God is looking out for us because he protected us last night.” 

It was clear, she wasn’t trying to comfort us, she really believed. Her life obviously had not been easy and she learned to trust in her faith. 

“If I don’t have this job, I can’t feed my family. If the tourists are not taken care of first, they will not come back and if I will lose this opportunity and my job, I have nothing. This is everything to me.” 

I shook my head in disbelief as she looked at me and told me everything was going to be OK. She handed me a cup of tea and gently placed her hand on my shoulder. 

I wanted to tell her I wasn’t crying because I was scared. I was crying because I felt so sad for so many things in this life. How sorry I felt for the imbalance and the unfairness. I wanted to tell her that I knew how hard it was to be resilient in trying times. I wanted to tell her how I believe we are all connected by struggle and fear and sadness. I wanted  her to know I could see myself in her and how deeply grateful I was for her, 

But I paused,

I didn’t have to.

She already knew.

It was clear, her life was filled with hardship but it was also apparent she was making a conscious choice to rise above it. 

I pulled myself together and started to frantically call the airlines and embassy’s and google the most current information. 

We had one choice, flee or stay. 

I looked at Logan. She had remained so peaceful throughout the night of panic but the lack of sleep was showing and I knew she couldn’t make it another 24 hours on the side of the road. 

We saw the images of thousands stranded on the Gili islands (where we supposed to be headed) and I knew all those people would end up at the port. We couldn’t chance going there. We called the airport. No flights were available and more than 500 people were lined up with the hope airlines would open up more flights. 

Shit. 

We would be stuck another night.

As many tourists fled, we stayed put.

Our earthquake family had dwindled to 8. We spent the day together, getting to know each other, discussing our escape routes, drinking a bit of wine, crying, laughing and holding hands each time the earth moved. 

We went to bed the night after the ‘Big one’ feeling optimistic. Although the tremors continued throughout the day, they felt like they were decreasing in strength. 

The plan was to get a full night’s sleep and then make tracks in the morning. 

We all hugged and made our way to bed exhausted but hopeful the worst was over. 

Less than an hour later later, another two big quakes hit and we were evacuated again. Although they were smaller in magnitude (5.5)  they were much closer in proximity to us and we felt them with intensity. 

That night we stayed outside under the open air palapa of the lobby, all together. 

We gathered all the lounge cushions off the pool chairs and day beds. Laura, our newly adopted ‘sister’ from Australia got the kids a ‘doonie’ (duvet in Auzzie terms) and snuggled with them on the floor beside Jay and I. As I looked over at the three of them, cozied in together I thought about how easily it is to love each other when our guards and egos are down. 

In any other circumstance we probably would never let a stranger in like this, but tragedy really does bring out the best in people.

It also brings out the worst. 

Trust me, I have witnessed (and participated) at times in my own life. Trauma, terror, danger and panic, often lead to exhaustion, desperation and reaction. When we are scrambling to survive, we do whatever we can to protect ourselves.

 As reports of looting, people screaming and fighting with each other, and images of complete chaos came in, I was reminded of how poorly, we as humans, behave in the midst of fear and struggle.

Gratitude swept over me. As we laid in the open air surrounded by strangers I how much worse it could be, at least we surrounded by deep comfort and love. 

The next morning goodbyes were hard. How could it have only been two days yet we didn’t want to leave each other behind. As scared as we were, as much as we wanted to run away to safety, how could we be feeling such sadness and guilt and helplessness while fleeing for our lives?

We took a collection and gave all we had to the staff. We knew it wasn’t enough but it was all we could do. We hugged, exchanged details and then just like that we went our separate ways. 

Thank God, it all worked out and we made the boat to Bali. 

Thank God, Logan didn’t collapse as we worried she would. Her blood pressure had slipped desperately low after two days of not enough fluids or proper medications through her tube and she was very shaky and unsteady as we boarded the boat. 
The whole journey took about 12 hours but we made it to safety in Bali, frazzled,  exhausted, relieved and happy.

 Last night was a much better night. We felt safe but also still very  unsettled. I woke many times, sitting up to nudge Jared and ask “Did you just feel that?”  

It will take some time to get over what we’ve been through, we all feel very fragile.

Because, we weren’t just rattled physically. 

The feelings we have right now are similar to the 4 times we have heard the words “Your child has cancer” but also very different.

Surviving a natural disaster on your dream ‘bucket list trip’ around the world is unfathomable, but honestly, not quite as scary or even comparable to facing your child’s death every single day for 13 years at home.

Life is a total crap shoot and we refuse to let fear dictate how we #rollwithit, so if you ask any of us if we’d still do this trip again, knowing what we do, I can promise you each one of us would respond a resounding “YES!!!”

We have had so many beautiful moments on this adventure. So many things that have made us stronger and brought us closer together and none of those moments will ever be overshadowed by the fear or panic we faced on Lombok. Instead, we will forever choose to remember the beauty of the island, and the people we met while we were there.

On that note, I am not entirely sure how the media got word of us stuck on Lombok but we have to say, we have been overwhelmed with the support and encouragement we’ve received worldwide.

The message is clear, and it is SO NOT lost on us, whatever happens in this life, we know we are never alone.❤️